That Guy
He can be a bit outrageous and at times, not at all politically correct. There is one in every crowd. He could be a family member, a friend, or a complete stranger. He is a full package, very much himself in any situation. I affectionately think of him as ‘that guy.’ He is the one who captures his audience by artfully spinning far-fetched tales. Of course, there is a bit of his true-life antics thrown in for good measure. He could be the one who delivers borrowed jokes in a way that leaves you howling in laughter. The punchline could also leave you saying, “No he didn’t!” Then there is the king of comebacks. His masterfully quick one-liners will bring you to your knees. Some of these guys are lovable and loud. Some of them are quiet and unassuming. All are naturally funny without trying to be. You will find it impossible to hold back laughter when something they said comes to mind. Even in situations when laughing is not appropriate.
I cross paths with many of them regularly. Hubby Darrel has no idea how funny he is. He will say something, and we all start laughing. Then he will look at us puzzled, wondering what we think is so funny. Grandson, Kenyon is unfiltered and no topic is taboo. He could just tell about his day at work, and we would lose it. Loud and extremely animated, Kenyon acts out every word as he speaks. Our friend Guy is famous for his witty one-liners. When I tell him how funny he is, he replies, in his slow southern drawl, “well you know.” Our friend Marshall produces the fastest and most hilarious comebacks. Totally unfiltered, Marshall aims his humor at friends and strangers alike. We never know how or where he will strike.
The ultimate teller of tales is our friend Bern. He has many quotes, my favorite being, “You couldn’t make this one up.” Bern has hours and hours of stories that he tells. Many times, I ask him to tell the same ones over again. Most requested is one from his youth involving his busybody neighbor Ms. Roach. I could not do him justice putting that one in words. I will work on videotaping Bern telling the story so that you can see and hear for yourself.
I still laugh at an incident that took place at the office many years ago. We were processing payroll. I noticed mouse droppings beside the phone on my desk. At the time, Angie was on her phone talking to her fiancé Anthony. Hearing my dismay, without missing a beat Anthony said, “Mickey got bad news and pooped himself.” Angie and I laughed until we were wiping tears. To this day, we break out into a fit of laughter when we hear, “Mickey got bad news.”
My baby brother, Ray, can also spin a pretty-good story. He is currently living in the Middle East and is sharing with us one told to him by his Kuwaiti friend:
“A man from a small desert village was having stomach pain and went to visit the village doctor. The villager said to the doctor, "I am having sharp pains in my belly." After the examination, the doctor told the villager to get the largest, sweetest melon he could find, take off his pants and sit on it.
Villager: "What is the purpose of this?”
Village doctor: “You have worms. As soon as you sit on the melon, the scout worms will go down to the melon, eat and report to the boss worm that there is a sweet melon below. All the worms will leave your belly to eat the sweet melon.” The village doctor told the villager to come back, if after doing this, he still had problems.
A day later, the villager went back to the doctor with a belly as big as a pregnant woman’s.
Village doctor: “What in the world happened?”
Villager: “I did exactly as you said. I found a big, sweet melon. I undressed, sat on it and waited. Just like you said, the scout worms went down to eat and ran back to the boss worm to report the good fortune.”
The boss said, "Gather all the worms and bring it up!”
I’m done y’all,
Amanda 🤣
