Never A Dull Moment

Today is laundry day.  It is one of my uneventful tasks.  In between folding and putting away clothes, I will work on a jigsaw puzzle, watch a movie or maybe do both.  It has been quiet all morning, but now the telephones are ringing.  The landline and my cell phone are constantly ringing with numbers I do not recognize.  What is this ‘National Talk to a Scammer Day?’  I decided to answer a few of the calls for some laundry day entertainment.

My first scammer of the morning was a foreign-accented female.  Our scammer callers are usually males. A female is rare for us. I spoke with her sweetly, then sternly said, “You are not a nice lady.  Be nice and stop scamming people!” I must have caught her by surprise because she kept stammering and could not seem to get another word out. 

The next caller was foreign-accented Paul Walker from Miami, Texas.  Did he actually use that name?  Paul Walker laughingly insisted he was not an actor but was calling from Medicare.   I threw him a curve by saying, “Oh, you are the doctor from the VA hospital.”  I went on to ask him about treating boils and bunions.  He kept trying to talk over me.  Saying he was not a doctor, but I was on a roll.  I stopped talking and asked him why there were so many people talking in the background.  He said there were no people in the background.  I told him there are always a lot of people at scam centers.  Paul Walker from Miami, Texas, hung up on me.

My next call was from foreign-accented Mike calling from the Medicare office.  I remember a Mike from Medicare calling last week. I told him I did not feel like being scammed that day.  I guess for Mike today, is the day for my swindling.  Mike incorrectly thought I would give him my personal information to put on a plastic Medicare card.  Mike was also adamant that we talk about my body pain.  He kept insisting that I had hip pain. Did I sound like I was in the market for a tricked-out walker?  Keeping with my medical conversation with Paul Walker from Miami, Texas, I talked about painful boils and bunions. Unhappy with my lack of cooperation in being swindled, Mike had a rude comeback. I told him to discuss his comment with his ‘dear mother who must be so proud of him.’  He quickly hung up on me.  

Robo Rachael called about the expiration of our extended warranty. These scammers were the most professional of the bunch.  At first, they sounded like a legitimate business office.  They asked for information about our car to which I gave fake details.  When asked, the person I spoke with said yes, they were working with the company where we purchased our Jeep (we do not own a Jeep.).  When I asked for the name of the car dealership, claiming I had forgotten where we purchased the Jeep, I was told it was not showing in their system…huh?  They wanted me to send them $219 for an extended warranty for a non-existent Jeep.  I asked for their website so I could get more information.  They told me to hold, and they would transfer my call.  They transferred me straight to the dial tone.

My final and most impressive call was from Luke Freeman at Publisher Clearing House.  Luke Freeman excitedly announced that he had a check for me in the amount of $2.5 million!  The only thing is Luke did not have my correct name and was not sure of my address.  Of course, I would not verify my information. Instead, I wished him luck in finding the real winner.   He said he was positive I was the winner.  I told Luke Freeman to mail me the check using the information he had.  I also asked why he was listed in a fraud alert.  He had the nerve to ask me why I said that.  I humored him by reading the Luke Freeman Publisher Clearing House fraud alert that I had googled as he hung up on me.

Sadly, many people fall for these fraudulent calls. A lot of money is lost and damage is done, particularly to senior citizens. No one from Medicare, Social Security, the IRS, Amazon, Verizon, or other companies will arbitrarily email you or call you with threats or seeking information. Also, be wary of calls in the middle of the night from someone in distress saying they are your grandchild. It is probably a scammer. Never give or verify any information about yourself or a relative over the telephone or via email. Never respond to the telephone number or email address provided. Instead, always look up the company you are trying to reach for yourself. It is best not to engage with these people, but to hang up the telephone.

So how is that for a quiet laundry day?  As you can see, we are easily entertained. There is never a dull moment in the May household.  I am putting away the last load of clean clothes. Now I can finally work on a jigsaw puzzle, watch a movie or maybe do both, uninterrupted.  By the way, when the $2.5 mil check arrives from Luke Freeman, I will buy the Brooklyn Bridge and make you all share holders.

Amanda 👀

Thumbnail Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels; Clothes line Photo by Skitterphoto from Pexels